(Theoretical) Instruments of Torture!

First topic message reminder :

Game created by Jmill

We come up with even more random junk! This time, however, the random junk will be used to anger people and (theoretically, of course) KILL THEM!

EXAMPLE:
-I throw Chuck Norris at you!
-I delete Valhalla 4 and create 5.0!
-I join ICS!
-I burn every Star Wars book known to man (and Wookie)

I hugged you.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Kill

I tear your arms off and cut you in half

I kissed you on the cheek!

I tear off your lips and tongue, burn them, and decapitate you

I force you to marry George Clooney.

I'd make him sleep with you, giving me grounds for divorce

I enjoyed it.

I post videos on youtube

I enjoy that.

I call you a creeper

I agree.

You happily kill yourself

No. I butt rape you.

No, you're gay

I mouth rape you, as you are a girl.

You are cursed to never be able to see or touch any girl again.

You are turned into a transvestite.

I force you to watch every British show ever made and all music videos and such made off of them

I threw a rock at you.

I pull off your eyelids

I threw two rocks at you.

I pull off your nose

I threw an ice cream cone at you.

I tear out your hair slowly

I threw a McChicken at you.

I tear out your eyes

I throw a sumo wrestler at you.

I tear off your head

I throw a weeping angel at you.

You can't touch a weeping angel w/o getting sent into the past

I threw a rock at you.

I'd tell you that you have 2 shadows

I would throw your brain at you. In other words, I wouldn't do anything.

Har de Har har.

I burn Ozzt and Randy

I throw "Ozzt" at you.

I burn your hair in your room (burnt hair smells really bad)

I throw burnt hair at you.

You get set on fire

I throw a surf board at your scrotum, cutting it open.

I STILL am a girl

I throw a surf board at your, uhhh... hair?

I bash your head in

I kick you in the nose!

I burn your apartment down

I throw a burnt apartment at you!

I burn all of your family's money. The fire doesn't last long.

You get nothing but a pity laugh, butt hole.

I force everyone in the world to laugh at you at the same time